Three Guidelines for Taking the Kids Out to Eat

No matter how you felt about eating out before you had kids, the fact is that taking your child (of any age) with you to a restaurant (the kind where you sit down and people bring you food and refill your drinks) can be stressful.  Heck, it IS stressful.  The thing is, the earlier you start taking your kids to restaurants the sooner it is that they will catch on to what is acceptable behavior and what is not.  Your job, as the licensed adult, is to set a few rules and enforce them ruthlessly.

1. Eat out at kid-friendly times. If your child’s bedtime is normally 7-8 pm, taking him to a restaurant at 6:30 is not fair to him or you. Odds are there will be a melt down.  Of course, there are times where a late dinner is unavoidable. In that instance seriously consider a drive-through meal.  If drive-through is not going to work, use your phone. Many chains have apps where you can be seated and order before you even get there. Do this. If you don’t already keep snacks in your glove box or the console, tsk, tsk, tsk.  If you MUST take your tired, hungry child into a sit-down restaurant, have or ask for something to help with the hunger. Most restaurants will give you crackers or tortilla chips to keep your child going while you are waiting.
2. Know your options. Before your child is eating solid foods, determine if you are going to be a chicken tenders family or a family that keeps all options open. Just because a person is under four feet tall does not mean they are destined to only eat chicken tenders, bland flat bread pizzas or mac and cheese when you go out to eat. At home and when you eat out, encourage your child to eat what you eat. (Or at least try it!) Teach them how to acknowledge that they dislike something without being gross or rude. Teach them to quietly spit something into the napkin on their lap (you already taught them that!) and say, “Hmmm, I really don’t care for that.”  It will serve them well throughout their lives.
3. Make your expectations clear. Before you head to a restaurant with one or more children over 3, tell them quickly (kids hear more if you say with the fewest possible words) what you expect. Whatever that is. General rules include: stay in their seats, do not spin in booths and play with other diner’s hair or otherwise distract them, do not throw a tantrum, etc.  Once you and your partner are clear on expectations, let your kids know that you WILL leave the restaurant after the first warning. Only do this if you are willing to leave. One of you hauls the kids to the car. The other pays, leaves a nice tip and collects to-go meals (IF) they are ready. When you get home, give the kids a quick pbj or equivalent.  This is a horrifying thing to actually do. But, do it once, twice at the maximum and, you will not have to do it again. Give your kids the message that you mean business.  Most kids enjoy eating out and will work harder after being dragged out of a restaurant once.

All parents want to patronize restaurants that are kid-friendly. Few parents want to patronize restaurants that are “kid-free-for-all.”  There are high-end restaurants that are not kid-friendly and rightly so. Who wants to pick a special restaurant for the night they propose marriage only to be seated next to a three year old who is tossing his food, shrieking and/or otherwise being disruptive? It’s not cute. On the other hand, there are plenty of restaurants that suit families just fine. You can get a good meal without constantly shushing your child. You’ll enjoy it even more if you agree on the standards of behavior you’ll accept (and encourage) in your child.